Dealing with the tragedies of life

I never thought I would come this far in learning to operate and deal with the technology of what I call “Computerism”.  That may be a dumb word to many of you, but I often make up words to suit myself.

From the time I was a child my mother told me, “Kid, sqaure those shoulders, lift that chin and face the world head on.”  My mother is gone now, bless her soul, dementia took my mother from me years ago.   I have always tried to be strong, do it all myself, but as the years have gone by I have learned it never hurts to ask for help.

I have spent the last 2 1/2 years caring for my brother who is in the middle stages of dementia.  My brother is younger than me and much younger than our mother was when she was diagnosed with dementia.  Thats only half of the dementia story.  My sister, who is 4 years older than me, is dying in a nursing home with dementia.  My younger brother, who is the baby of us 4 siblings, has just been diagnosed with dementia.  So, I say to myself, Why am I still standing, why is my brain still functioning, when my whole family has dementia.  Only God could give me that answer.  Perhaps the answer is because I need to be a caregiver for my brother, who was a caregiver for our mother.  My story is sad, it is long and if any of you out there that read this blog need help with lawyers, DHS, acquiring Medicaid, I have been there and I have done it.  If I had not been a secretary for years, I would not have been able to do all the paperwork it took to disengage my brother from a business partner in another state who was stealing all of his assets.  Taking advantage of someone with dementia is a criminal act, but generally they never get punished.

I managed to get Medicaid long term care for my brother after hiring a lawyer and battling DHS for 5 months.  Paid the lawyer, paid a hefty penalty, but I guess I won one for my brother.  I never wanted to put my brother in a nursing home, but caring for someone with dementia is one of the most stressful things to deal with in life.

It is a deep and sorrowful sadness, to the depths of ones soul, to watch someone you love so much fade into the world of dementia.  Does the sorrow get easier each day?  No, the sorrow is there amid your daily life and one has to learn to find happiness despite the sorrow.  As my Mama said, “Face the world head on.”




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