Peace at Last

I have dealt with Dementia and sorrow for so long, and even after placing my brother in a nursing home, peace evaded me.  Why you say, because fighting for the rights of your loved one after you place them in a nursing home is exhausting.  Too many drugs, and problems until your loved one gets use to the routine and settles into other surroundings. Within a week my brother had escaped through the screen of a porch.  They had chased him into the woods and caught him.  He has always wandered, always wanted to be on the go at all times.  My brother is very hyper, very nervous, and very hard to handle and contain.  He does not sleep at the nursing home, he cat naps, and stands with his head against the wall and falls asleep standing up.  I have always thought he had ADHD from the time he was a small child.  No amount of drugs can make my brother sleep.  How sad to never be able to rest, because your mind will never stop whirling.

I was sitting on the porch, just 2 days ago, in the sun, looking at the beautiful blue sky and the airplanes trailing across the sky.  I was thinking of my brother and praying to God.  I began to realize I had not sat outside and communed with nature like that for a very long time.  I finally realized I could relax, my brother was in a place where he was being taken care of, I could let go of the 2 1/2 years of stress and anxiety.  I could finally relax, enjoy life, and live the life I had lived before this journey with Dementia began.  A big sigh escaped my lips and I felt that one sigh brought me back to the world of peace and harmony.  What a wonderful feeling to feel Peace.

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