Cherished Memories

There are two people in my life that enter my thoughts each day.  One is my Mother who passed away in 2002, I never stop missing her.  The other person is my brother J.R., the only sibling of three, whom I love unconditionally.  J.R. is entering the final stages of dementia and each time I think of the loss of his mind, sorrow enters my heart.  J.R. took care of my Mother in Arizona until she passed away in a nursing home.  J.R.’s female business partner stole everything my parents left J.R.  She used his dementia against him every day.  J.R. lived so far away from me, I did not realize what this woman was doing.  I had to go to Arizona and rescue J.R. from his business partner and her two sons.  I became J.R.’s caregiver for over two years until I had to place him in a nursing home here in Arkansas.

All I have left to remember my parents are several small nick knacks and some flowers I dug up from Mom and Dad’s yard.  J.R.’s business partner has everything else that belonged to my parents.  I did not have the time, energy, or money to bring this woman to justice. These Irises and Lilacs always remind me of my Mother.  Mom was such a wise, strong, caring person that I confided in her often.  J.R. and I were into mischief our entire lives.  J.R. and I have enough humor for several people, we shared many good belly laughs over the years.

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I have been trying to get Mom’s lilacs to grow for 9 years.  Several times I thought they had decided to die.  I think they liked the sandy soil of Arizona, better than the clay soil of Arkansas.

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My Mother was a person who loved flowers and loved life. J.R. was a good son to our parents, he live next door and took care of them for years.  No one deserves someone, who was supposed to be a friend, stealing every possession they have in their life.

I did not realize until this Spring just how many flowers and flowering trees and bushes my husband and I have on our 3 acre tract of land.  J.R. was always walking in the yard smelling and touching flowers and trees.  They cannot let J.R. go outside at the nursing home, he is a flight risk.  The nurses have had to chase him down several times.  He seems to be in better physical shape then those younger nurses. I know how often we had to search for him during the two years we cared for him in our home.  I cannot blame anyone who wishes to run away from a nursing home.

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These small wild violets bloom in a large area of my yard every year.  These red flowering buds are from my Gala apple tree.

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This Wisteria bush blooms in the front yard every year. You want to keep it away from trees. It is an invasive climbing vine that would engulf a tree and kill that tree. The bumblebees love this bush and I thought I would get stung before I managed to take these pictures.

I am sure there are those in your life, whom you have lost, that bring fond memories to your mind.  If you have someone, who is ill or in a care facility, I am sure thinking of them saddens you.  My Mother always told me life was rough and it takes a strong person to endure.  You have to lean on family members, who live nearby, for support.  I lean heavily on my husband and my daughter, who help me endure all the trials life throws my way.  I think God each day for my husband, my daughter, and my precious granddaughter who makes me laugh and loves to pester Grandma.

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11 thoughts on “Cherished Memories

  1. What a beautiful heartfelt story, I particularly love the lilac as it was always one of my mums favourite flower.
    Your family sounds wonderful as did your parents and brother.
    I feel your sadness and send love to you.

  2. Thank you Mandy. I think of you and your mom each time I think of dementia. What sadness it can cause to those who watch someone they love go through this dreaded disease. My love to you too.

  3. I lost my mum too and I can relate.
    can barely go a day without mentioning her and the times we spent together.
    She left behind a young man still in school and I chose to take him as my own son and bring him up exactly as mum would.I love the kid to bits and though dad and I disagree on just how far I should spoil him I know that mum is proud of us all:dad,little bro and I for the way we stick together through thick and thin.
    Keep all the flowers you want if it makes you feel better,visit J.R every weekend if it makes him feel better……enjoy your daughter and husband`s presence if it makes them feel better.Just don`t wallow in self-pity because you are more than that.You are more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus.
    It is well with you!

  4. I am doing well. I am a very strong person and my faith in God, the love of my husband, daughter, and young granddaughter sustains me in my life. You and I both know that life is often hard.

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