Going The Second Mile

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The phrase, “Going the second mile,” comes from a verse in the Bible.  Matthew 5:41 “And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain (two).” KJV

Going the second mile with others, to help them, was a common occurrence in past centuries.  In the 21st century the second mile is not as prevalent.  Many people just do what is expected of them and never exert any extra effort.  That second mile often requires more commitment than we are willing to give.  That second mile is often an uphill battle.

You have to put others needs before your own.  It takes a spirit of generosity, love, concern, and compassion to journey that second mile.  Your attitude has to involve staying in the race until the problem is dissolved.

I must admit I have felt there were several times in my life that I dropped the ball and didn’t score a goal.  Times when I let others down and did not go the second mile.  I know that made me feel small, made me think I fell short of succeeding.  Sometimes you simply collapse and yield from the weight and stress.

This 3 year dementia journey with my brother has caused numerous amounts of stress in my life.  I am totally exhausted from the pressure.  When you try your best and bureaucracy keeps knocking you down, you buckle from the physical and mental distress. My brother J.R. is not far from entering the last stages of dementia.  He needs special care from this point forward, help I cannot give him.  DHS is deliberately trying to find a way to deny another year of Medicaid long-term-care.  Nothing has changed with J.R.’s financial situation from last year.  There is no reason to deny Medicaid, but DHS is trying extra hard to find a reason.

DHS has pushed me into a corner, which makes you fight back.  I searched the internet and ask questions of lawyers trying to find a solution.  The answer was, resign as J.R.’s power-of-attorney.  I did just that and there is no one to replace me.  I never wanted to leave J.R. unprotected.  The nursing home is now trying to find a state guardian for J.R., which means they will have to help him.  I understand I may have to go to court and pay all court costs to get a guardian for J.R.  I went the second, third, and fourth miles trying to help my brother.  I feel I have dropped the ball and yet I know that I really did more than my best for my brother.

So, when you are faced with going that second mile for someone, do what Jesus said in Matthew 5:41.  When you have done your best and there is nothing more you can do, you have gone that second mile.  God will bless you for helping others. 

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14 thoughts on “Going The Second Mile

  1. It was the only way to get your brother the medical help and care he needs. You will always be there for him, even if it meant having to resign power of attorney. As Sarah says, you really have done all you can.
    Wishing you peace. 🙂

  2. Another ridiculously difficult no-win situation. It’s so hard, and it just hurts your heart, not to mention the financial issues. I am so sorry how difficult all of this is. You are fighting the good fight, and so difficult to balance everything when there are no right answers. Because the system is all messed up 😦

  3. minstrel says:

    What state do you live in? I’ve never heard of someone having to resign PoA to qualify for help. Medicare /Medicaid won’t pay for LTC if your brother has resources above a certain level, it’s true. Is he a veteran? If you haven’t contacted the Alzheimer’s Assn. 24/7 help line, 800 272 3900, do so. And contact your local Alz. Assn chapter. It does take a village but there is help.

  4. Arkansas. My brother’s circumstances are not normal on qualifying for Medicaid. His business partner stole all but a small portion of his assets and this is causing a major headache. I have tried everything here you said and no one came to the rescue. Our Arkansas governor has messed up 33,000 people in Arkansas and dropped their Medicaid benefits – he calls it downsizing. Even my Elder Law Attorney did not win my case for my brother.

  5. I’m so sorry for your struggles. Your brother and you both deserve far more compassion and support than any agency has been giving, or perhaps even than they can offer. We are not properly set up as a social or governmental system to care for those who can’t care for themselves, and the burdens become worse when we’re essentially forced to abdicate what little control we had left in order to qualify for the tiny bits of aid that do exist. May you find new help, new hope, and peace, both for yourself and your brother.
    Yours,
    Kathryn

  6. Thanks Kathryn. Our government needs a total overhaul. It is sad when you try so hard to help someone and DHS and others try only to kick you out of their system. Where is human compassion these days. Thanks for your comments. Liz

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