Life’s Frustrations

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I took this photo back in April of this year.  I put it on here, hoping it would inspire me to let the frustrations of life leave my mind.

You think after someone dies the frustrations, stresses, and problems of trying to handle the life of someone with dementia will cease.  I am still looking for an end to 3 1/2 years of frustation concerning my brother J.R.’s affairs.  Bless his heart, he had such a hard time on this journey through dementia and nothing that happened was ever his fault.

Recently I have spent more of my own money to finish paying the pentaly imposed by DHS at the first nursing home.  I have paid what was due upon J.R.’s death at the second nursing home.  I paid to have my brother cremated (this was his request).  I thought I could close his bank account yesterday and get some of the money I spent back.  I thought at my age I knew quite a bit about legal things, but you learn something every day.  I guess in the back of my mind, I knew his bank account was an asset, that I would have to go through probate.  Guess that fact was so hidden in my clogged, overworked mind, that I could not find that information.  So, I must get a lawyer, go through probate in court.  Then by the time the government gets their share and I pay this lawyer, I will owe more than the mere $2,000 in this bank account.  So, I hope the government enjoys their share, perhaps it will help them pay down the National Debt. lol

I am normally not a  mean person, but by the time I told those two young female tellers at the bank what I thought, I stormed out.  They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time when all the frustration came to a head. My husband was there and he laughed, saying, “Those girls looked as if they thought you would leap over that counter and assault them both.”  I would not have done that, I might have hurt myself.  lol

I feel like I have been, a full time secretary, lawyer, caregiver, psychologist, wife, mother, grandmother, counselor, doctor, just to name a few of the hats I have had to wear for years.  Quite tiring, quite mind boggling, extremely stressful, and has taken a toll on my health.

My heart goes out to those in this world who are overwhelmed by frustrations.  I am actually a strong willed person who tries to deal with what I call a “Hard Life,” on this earth.  So, caregivers I say, “Hang In There.”  I actually hate that phrase, but that is about all you can do, if you wish to survive frustrations and stress.

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11 thoughts on “Life’s Frustrations

  1. I’m sorry to hear that the frustrations and money problems just keep on. It is hard enough trying to find time to grieve for the loss of your brother, without this continued hassle. It annoys me how lawyers and the government all take their piece. The same thing happened to us after my sister-in-law died suddenly, without a will. I could not believe what the lawyers took, for very slow, shoddy work. It took over 18 months to settle anything!
    Hopefully in the long term, things will get better.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about all the hassle you have to go through. And hopefully it will reach an end soon, not sure if I would have been as strong as you. Hang in there and sending big hugs!

  3. Lovely picture.

    What a mess this whole process is 😦 Having to deal with this stuff after going through your brother’s death, and the dementia process, is insult on top of injury. We will have to do this with dad, who couldn’t be bother to even create a will when he was more sane.

    Silly question, if it costs more money to put that account through probate than you will get from it, is leaving it there an option?

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