We Are All Equal

IMG_9843

God is no respecter of persons as the apostle Peter said in Acts 10:34.

There are a lot of people, who think they are superior to the rest of the human race.  I suppose it is due to their ignorance, unkind spirit, or their swelled heads.

My niece – the Superior One – chose not to let my brother James and I know of our sister Jean’s journey through dementia into death.  How do I know my sister died? Through constant searching every other month on the internet.  Finally yesterday I discovered Jean’s obituary.  Jean passed away March 22, 2016 and my niece chose not to let her mother’s siblings know..

My brother James is in the early stages of dementia and lives in the same town as my sister.  He wanted to go visit his sister, but our niece denied him the privilege of saying goodbye to Jean.  She would not allow James to have any contact with Jean.

Why was my niece so cruel?  My sister did not raise her to be that way.  When will we learn as human beings that kindness and concern for others is what life is all about. I have tried since my brother J.R.’s death, due to dementia, to strive for a happier outlook on life. My years as J.R.’s caregiver were very hard for me emotionally. Just when you begin to achieve a happier outlook on life someone throws you a curve ball that knocks you for a loop!

We are all in this life together and we need to make this world a better place.  God will bless the kind and compassionate people on this earth. ♥

Advertisements

“Gentle, Loving, People”

IMG_6881

Elisabeth Kubler Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, pioneer in near death studies. She wrote books on: Grief, Death, Dying.  She was born in Switzerland in 1926 and died in Scottsdale, Arizona in 2004.  She often discussed the 5 stages of grief, to help those who had lost loved ones.  She wrote many famous quotes, I would like to share 2 of her quotes with you. 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgement; for loving unconditionally.”

Do the traits that Elisabeth mentioned in these quotes describe you and how you are living your life.  If they do, I commend you for being one of the beautiful, loving people. We should all strive to be kind, gentle, and caring as we live our lives.

SUPPORT Others

IMG_4812

I have recently discovered two bloggers who have inspired me with their strength and determination to win their battles with cancer.  Mark and Michael are remarkable people, they are in the middle of their lives, they should have decades of life to live.

Those with cancer do better in every aspect of their lives with encouragement.  The risk of developing cancer in a person’s lifetime is 1 in 3 women and 1 in 2 men.  Cancer can strike us at anytime in our lives.

I know as a fellow blogger I cannot physically be there for Mark and Michael, I wish that I could.  I can give them moral support.  I am asking fellow bloggers to visit the blog sites of these two men, comment and let them know you care.

https://visionofhope33.wordpress.com  (Michael)

https://fonzandcancer.wordpress.com  (Mark)

It is hard to be ill and overlooked.  I have been there several times in my life and few if any friends ever helped or encouraged me.  I did not have internet during my illnesses.

Many blogger friends have given me encouragement this last year as I dealt with my brother’s dementia.  I thank each of you for your comments and concern.  Please use your blog to reach out to Mark and Michael and encourage them as you did me.  God bless all of you wonderful bloggers.

 

Think Like A Child

download (22)

What would happen in one day’s time if you spent one day thinking like a child.  All I see happening in that day, is a day filled with joy and happiness.

I have reread portions of the book, “Dementia Beyond Drugs,” written by Dr. Allen Power many times.  Here is an example from that book showing the joy children can bring into the lives of those with dementia.

Lenny had severe dementia caused by repeated strokes, and he was unable to speak more than a few words.  He was unable to walk or even propel his own wheelchair.  But when the 2-year-olds from our child care center came to visit, the staff brought Lenny to the rec room, and a bond was formed with a boy named Andre.
While the other children played or ran around, Andre sat quietly on Lenny’s lap, watching the action.  Neither of them was able to speak a great deal, but they seemed to gain comfort from this silent companionship.  Occasionally, one of the staff members would push the wheelchair around the halls to give them a ride.  I guess this was our way of interjecting a bit of doing into their being.
I saw them together on several occasions – different ages, different races, but somehow very close, perhaps bound by their common need for being and their common inability to fully join the world of adults.  Andre preferred sitting on Lenny’s lap to joining in with the other children’s games, and it was always hard to get him to leave.
One day, I took a photo of the two of them together and gave it to Lenny.  It stayed on his bedside shelf, a reminder of a source of companionship and contentment in his last days.

We need to value those with dementia simply for who they are.  Do not view them for what they can or cannot do, view them as adults who do the best they can to function with the devastating disease of dementia.  They are still human beings, they still have feelings. Taking your small children to nursing homes and hospitals to visit patients teaches them compassion and always boosts the spirits of those they visit.

Ephesians 5:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Don’t Laugh At Others

download

Peter, Paul, and Mary sang a song years ago called, “Don’t Laugh At Me.” We might all take notice of the lyrics and stop being unkind and cruel to others.

Verse l:  I’m a little boy with glasses.  The one they call a geek.  A little girl who never smiles, ’cause I have braces on my teeth.  And I know how it feels to cry myself to sleep. I’m that kid on every playground who’s always chosen last.  A single teenage mother tryin’ to overcome my past.  You don’t have to be my friend, but is it too much to ask.

Chorus:  Don’t laugh at me.  Don’t call me names.  Don’t get your pleasure from my pain. In God’s eyes we’re all the same. Someday we’ll all have perfect wings. Don’t laugh at me.

Verse 2:  I’m the beggar on the corner. You’ve passed me on the street.  And I wouldn’t be out here beggin’ if I had enough to eat.  And don’t think I don’t notice that our eyes never meet.

Chorus: Don’t laugh at me. Don’t call me names.  Don’t get your pleasure from my pain. In God’s eyes we’re all the same. Someday we’ll all have perfect wings. Don’t laugh at me.

Verse 3:  I’m fat, I’m thin, I’m short, I’m tall.  I’m deaf, I’m blind, hey, aren’t we all. In God’s eyes we’re all the same.  Someday we’ll all have perfect wings. Don’t laugh at me.

Chorus:  Don’t laugh at me.  Don’t call me names.  Don’t get your pleasure from my pain. In God’s eyes we’re all the same. Someday we’ll all have perfect wings. Don’t laugh at me.

Not All Illness Can Be Seen

How bad would you feel if you were truly ill, suffering tremendously in this life and were being judged by those around you?  What if people were suggesting you were just acting ill to acquire sympathy, that you really did not have a problem at all.  That people were telling you that you could straighten up if you tried.  I have been very ill several times in my life and have been treated exactly that way. I have read many blog posts of fellow bloggers lately and sorrow and concern have entered my heart.  For those of you that have that serious medical problem that others make fun of because they cannot see that there is a problem, my compassion, understanding and love go out to you.  I know how you feel.

images (21)

images (25)

download (20)

If you are suffering and need that hug, that help, that understanding, surround yourself with those that know your worth. Seek out those that love you, know your life, know your ups and your downs, those that truly carry you in their heart.

Loneliness

download (17)

I remember ten years ago when I sustained a severe concussion.  Silly me, I ran into a steel beam with my forehead.  I was so dizzy for a month I could not get out of bed.  For month two and three I stayed home laying on the couch to recuperate.  It was a lonely, miserable time in my life.  My husband was my caregiver, but he had things that required his attention and he was home only part of the time.

As I laid on that couch I watched an old white horse in the hillside pasture across the road. I could tell the horse was old, very lonely and neglected.  I never saw the owner interact with that horse and I spent hours watching.  As the weeks passed I would find myself talking to that horse in my mind and occasionally out loud.  I would tell him I understood.  I had such compassion for this lonely old horse.  Near the end of the two months, I laid on that couch, I saw a young, frisky, brown horse appear in the pasture with the white horse. I was thrilled, “Whitey” as I called him had companionship at last.  I saw Whitey try to interact with this brown horse for days, but the brown horse would not pay any attention to Whitey.  After a week of rejection the brown horse was taken away. Once again Whitey looked sad and lonely. Whitey died a few months later.  Ten years later I still think of Whitey and feel pain because he was neglected.  I do not know why people have animals if they are not going to give them love.

As I laid on the couch I would think of crossing my front field, going across the road to the fence to talk to Whitey and pet his nose.  Animals experience loneliness exactly as people experience being lonely.

IMG_3485IMG_3496

Ten years later I am dizzy and housebound from a fall where I landed face first.  Once again I have compassion for an animal.  There is a baby rabbit who lives in my yard.  I call him Streak, because he can really go from Point A to B in record time.  Streak had a sibling that he played with that disappeared in a few days.  Streak’s mom has gone on her way and Streak is alone.  Streak touches my heart, because I feel he has to be lonely.  I watch him try to interact with the adult rabbits, but they shun him.  I would pet
Streak if he were not a wild animal.  How sad to be alone.

download (16)images (28)

If you have a friend or acquaintance, young or old who is lonely, well or ill, depressed, a shut-in, in the hospital go visit them.  Loneliness does not help anyone thrive in their life. Loneliness causes young and old people to take their own lives.  Don’t let this happen to someone you know.  Be the salve that soothes their lonely soul.  Do something to alleviate someone’s loneliness.  God did not put us on this earth to be alone.  And while you are at it, pet your dog, cat, or horse.