“Gentle, Loving, People”

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Elisabeth Kubler Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, pioneer in near death studies. She wrote books on: Grief, Death, Dying.  She was born in Switzerland in 1926 and died in Scottsdale, Arizona in 2004.  She often discussed the 5 stages of grief, to help those who had lost loved ones.  She wrote many famous quotes, I would like to share 2 of her quotes with you. 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgement; for loving unconditionally.”

Do the traits that Elisabeth mentioned in these quotes describe you and how you are living your life.  If they do, I commend you for being one of the beautiful, loving people. We should all strive to be kind, gentle, and caring as we live our lives.

Life Is Fragile

When you have lost someone close to you.  When you have watched friends and family leave this earth, you realize how fragile life can be.  I saw this spider web in the sunlight with the green tree as a background. As I took this photo, this spider web made me think how fragile life is. IMG_3299The next day this spider web was blown away by wind and rain during the storms that roared through Arkansas last Wednesday.  That is how life is, here one day and gone the next.  Cherish those you love, life is fragile.

Enough is Enough

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Since my brother died, DHS wants me to pay his bills. There are two quotes I have been thinking about lately.

“You don’t have to do anything in life except pay taxes and die.”  lol

“Stop jerking my chain.”   (popular idiom used in the 1980s)

There is a quote by Paul Coelho – “If you want to control someone, all you have to do is to make them feel afraid.”

Well, I am a little sick and tired of DHS, nursing homes, doctors, and lawyers trying to jerk my chain.  I am not legally obligated to do things  for my brother anymore, since his death.  My power-of-attorney ended when my brother died.  So, why is DHS saying his Medicaid ended months ago and I have received no word to this affect?  Why am I receiving his bills?

The greater the power of these government organizations, the more dangerous the abuse.  When the IRS, DHS, etc. jerk your chain they are : making fun of you, harassing, pushing your anger buttons, and making life difficult.  They do all this in order to get a reaction, they deceive us into believing, our nightmare  situation will never end.

When it comes to American Government Organizations they mislead, manipulate, irritate, and try their best to literally stress us beyond endurance. They abuse their power.  They either want your money or your life.  If a person is strong they will not let the harassment change them as a person.  You might say when I was young I admired clever people.  I am older now and my admiration has turned to kind and compassionate people.  These kind people do not include those I am dealing with at the moment.

Sid Vicious (yep, that is his last name) made this statement: “Undermine their pompous authority, reject their moral standards, make anarchy and disorder your trademarks. Cause as much chaos and disruption as possible, but don’t let them take you ALIVE.”  I’m right there with you Sid.

So, when you are trying to do your best to take care of someone you love, you are vulnerable to the government establishment.  Do not let them deceive you when you are next of kin or a power-of-attorney for someone.  You are not responsible for paying your loved one’s bills.  They are not taking my money, my home, or taking me Alive (ha), because I know I am not responsible for my brother’s debts.  DHS has jerked my chain for the last time.  Enough is Enough, I have had all the stress I intend to endure from these heartless people.

 

Reflecting on Life

Do you find as you get older that you begin to reflect on your life?  Does life seem to be slipping away too quickly?  Does it seem like you were just 18 years old yesterday and ready to leave your parents house? The next thing you know you are 40, then 50 and on up the age ladder you wander. As this life passes quickly do you reflect on what you have done, or how happy you have been?  Do you wonder when you will be gone and become only a memory in someone’s mind?  Most of us with a little age under our belts do think about the end of our life.

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At  times I look through picture albums (yes, some of us still have those) and review the life I have lived to this point.  I think, wow, I have had a busy life, but where has it gone. You wonder how many days or years you have left on this earth.  You question whether you have spent your life doing what was expected of you, if you helped others enough. You think did I love enough, was I happy, was I kind, was I the person I should have been.

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Memories of loved ones that I have lost flood my mind.  Then I think of those who are still here, those I love, those I can still help get through the tragic times, the happy times.download (19)

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Take the years God gives you on this earth and live them in the best possible way.  Never take life for granted. Life is fragile.  Live today to the fullest, because as horrible as it may be to think about it, we may not have tomorrow.

Observations of Life

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What if life flowed along with tranquility, like a beautiful arrangement of music, or a rippling stream of water, or an eagle in flight?  We can all make that happen.

Life is the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.  To exist is to continue to be, to have life or the function of vitality.

When your mentality disappears, and there is no vitality as you function in life, what does this mean?  I think of those with dementia.  They are disappearing mentally, they do not function with vitality in their existence.  Does life cease if you cannot be that total productive, normal functioning human being?  After all Life is – The period of birth to death.

I noticed when I was a caregiver that people acted as if those with dementia did not exist.  How sad!  The person with dementia was still alive, still in their body, and still functioning to an extent.  Yet, people acted as if they were afraid of this person with dementia.  They actually acted as if they were afraid to treat them as a human being. After all dementia means you cease to exist.  Right?

I knew as a caregiver that my loved one was still there.  My brother does not know me anymore, but I know how much he still means to me.  I know I love this person who is afflicted with dementia.  I watched my loved one suffer when others ignored him.  Those with dementia can not express themselves as society expects.  Those with dementia do not understand why others shun them.  How does it feel to stand on the edge of a group of people and never be included in the conversation?  I know how I would feel, I would feel shunned and left out.  I saw my loved one with dementia: cry, suffer, become more disoriented and confused.  I saw the sorrow.  I saw their existence as a human being discarded by other people who chose to classify them as an unessential, non-existent human being.  A human being that was dispensable, and unimportant as a person.

Some feel the person with dementia is void of essence.  Essence being the most significant element, quality, or aspect of a human being.

I tried to help my brother, tried to fill the void in his life.  Caregivers try to physically and mentally help those in their care.  I tried to protect my loved one from those that turned their backs and acted as if he was not present.

You see, those with dementia dislike their caregivers, become angry with their caregivers, do the opposite of what the caregiver ask of them.  Why?  A caregiver has to assume the role of a parent who is helping a child.  Remember how your children act when you try to direct them.  A caregiver is doing what they think is best, but to those with dementia you are simply trying to rule their lives.  They think they are quite capable of ruling their own lives, after all, they always made their own decisions.  A caregiver tries to be their friend, but they do not want you ordering them around and they stop talking to you and avoid you.  They actually begin to hate their caregiver.

Those who come in contact with a person with dementia need to step up and treat them as if they were normal human beings.  This eliminates the stress in the person with dementia and also in the caregiver. The concept of how you treat someone with dementia also holds true of how to treat any person with mental or physical disabilities. Society has the habit of ignoring or scorning anyone who they consider inferior or different.

Help those who need help, help those caregivers who feel overwhelmed.  I have shed many tears watching how others dealt with my brother.  I have learned many life lessons from my experience with dementia.  I have never shunned or turned from a person with any disability, my Mother instilled that asset in me.  Mom would always tell me, I was not better than any other person on this earth.  I know that I am not better, we are all equal.

There are a lot of cruel, uncaring people in society.  I also know there are large numbers of good caring people on this earth.  I know many of my fellow bloggers truly care and would help in any way they could.  I thank all of you, who step up to the plate, and help others when you see someone who needs help.  God bless you.

Things People Say About Life

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This pond is the view from the North window of my house.  Often I watch the ducks, cranes, and geese land on this pond and enjoy themselves for a while. I spend a lot of my life outdoors, totally enjoying everything nature has to offer.

I ran across a few quotes on what some famous people think about life.  My Mother use to say you get out of life what you put into life.  Mom also told me quite often that Life was Boot Camp for Heaven.  Life does get rough at times, like boot camp.

“The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.” Clarence Darrow, lawyer and author 1857-1938   (Thought this was funny.)

“May you live all the days of your life.”  Jonathan Swift, satire writer (England) 1667-1745  I think what he meant by this is that often we are just existing, letting time get away from us, and not enjoying the days we live on this earth.

“No man is a failure who is enjoying life.” William Feather, publisher & author 1889-1981

“As soon as a man acquires fairly good sense (in life), it is said that he is an old fogy.”  Ed Howe, journalist 1803-1937

“To make headway (in life), improve your head.”  B.C. Forbes, journalist-Forbes Magazine & author 1880-1954

When you’re sitting there bored, something I often hear from people, get up and do something about the boredom.  Live life to the fullest, fast and furiously, even if occasionally you have to slow down for the speed bumps.

An Experiment by the Washington Post – Music

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A friend of mine recently sent me this story in an email. I thought it was well worth sharing.

Perception in Washington, D.C., at a Metro Station, on a cold January morning in 2007, this man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.  During that time approximately 2,000 people went through the station most of them on their way to work.

After about 3 minutes: a middle-aged man noticed that there was a musician playing.  He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then he hurried on to meet his schedule.

About 4 minutes later:  The violinist received his first dollar.  A woman threw money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

At 6 minutes:  A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

At 10 minutes:  A 3 year old boy stopped, but his mother tugged him along hurriedly.  The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head the whole time.  This action was repeated by several other children, but every parent – without exception forced their children to move on quickly.

At 45 minutes:  The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while.  About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.  After l hour:  He finished playing and silence took over.  No one noticed and no one applauded.  There was no recognition at all.  No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world.  He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.  Two days before, Joshua Bell sold-out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100 each to sit and listen to him play the same music.

This is a true story.  Joshua Bell, playing incognito in the D.C. Metro Station, was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people priorities.  This experiment raised several questions: In a common place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty?  If so, do we stop to appreciate it?  Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:  If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made . . . How many other things are we missing as we rush through life?  Enjoy life NOW . . . it has an expiration date.

Nonsense Leads to Existentialism

I was sitting the other day watching the news on television.  After 20 minutes the words, stupid and nonsense popped into my head.  We call our t.v. sets in America, “Boob Tubes.”  Very appropriate name for a device I have often thought of throwing out into the middle of the yard!

I took the word, “Nonsense,” as I have often done before and opened the dictionary for the definition.  I follow through on words using a definition word from the word I begin with. This is a habit of mine.  I cannot decide if I am trying to extend my vocabulary or I am just weird.  Bear with me on this one, it is unusual.  If I lose you in the middle of this post that is fine, I totally understand.

NONSENSE:  Words or language having no meaning or conveying no intelligible ideas, things of no importance or value,  meaningless, an idea that is absurd or contrary to good sense.  TRIFLES, ABSURD conduct, language or action.

TRIFLES:  Talk nonsense.  Something of little value, substance, or importance.

ABSURD:  Stupid, ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, lacking order or value.  The state or condition in which human beings exist in an irrational and meaningless universe and in which human life has no ultimate meaning.  EXISTENTIALISM.

EXISTENTIALISM:  (There have been numerous books, spanning centuries, written on this subject.  Existentialism was quite prevalent in the U.S. in 1941.)  A chiefly 20th century philosophical movement embracing diverse doctrines, but centering on analysis of individual existence in an unfathomable universe and the plight of the individual who must assume ultimate responsibility for acts of free will without any certain knowledge of what is right or wrong or good or bad.

Quite a world man has created for himself.  I did not know the word existentialism existed until I opened my dictionary.  I think we all need to clean up our act and be nicer, more kind, and discern between right and wrong, good and bad. I think God created a world, much better than anything man thinks he can create. ♥

So you see, Existentialism, of man seems to lead right back to Nonsense.

Quotes On This & That

There are a lot of quotes in this world.  Most of those that are recorded and remembered are spoken by famous people.  Here are a few quotes on different subjects.

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Quotes about Women:

Leo Tolstoy:  When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women.  I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, “Do what you like now.”

Oscar  Wilde:  One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.  If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.

images (2)   Mel Gibson:  I love women.  They’re the best thing ever created.  If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that’s fine.

Albert Einstein:  When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.  When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour.  That’s relativity.

Quotes about Men:

Jeanne-Marie Roland:  The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.

Oscar Wilde:  Women love us for our defects.  If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellect.

Quotes about Politics:

Will Rogers:  The trouble with political jokes is that often they get elected

Herbert Hoover:  Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt.

Miscellaneous Quotes:

Steven Right:  If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet,  what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Elayne Boosler: I have six locks on my door all in a row.  When I go out, I only lock every other one.  I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

David Letterman:  USA Today has come out with a new survey:  Apparently 3 out of 4 people make up 75 percent of the population.

Quotes about Life:

Bob Monkhouse:  Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets.  Why should other planets be any different from this one?

J. Krishnamurti:  You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it.  That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems, and suffer and understand, for all that is life.