Sing Unto The Lord

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Psalm 104:33-34 KJV

” I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live:  I will sing praise to my God while I have being.  My meditation of Him shall be sweet:  I will be glad in the Lord.”

It is hard to look at all the beautiful things in nature and not see the handy work of God.  I start each day thanking God for his blessings and for his son Jesus, who died for all of us. At church within the last 2 weeks we have lost 2 good elderly gentlemen.  It makes a person stop and think how short life is, how you can lose your loved ones in an instant. That thought should touch your heart and make you think of God and what life is truly about.  I hope each of you have a blessed day.

Visiting Your Parents

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LOVE YOUR PARENTS.  We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.  (your daily love emotions on 16 quotes.com)

I remember when my husband and I left Arizona and moved back to Arkansas –  we did not drive the 20 miles to his parents house to visit often enough.  I loved my husband’s parents like they were my own. Jobs, raising kids, and other activities seemed to consume our time.  Both my husband and I regret to this day that we did not spend more time with his parents.  Suddenly, my husband’s parents were old, they became sick, and they left this world.  You think back and you wonder why you did not give 2 older, lonely people more of your time. They often told us when we did go for a visit that we did not stop by enough. What is life about, if not taking the time to spend quality time with your parents before they leave this earth. I am not trying to shame anyone into visiting their parents.  I think we all need to take stock of our lives and allot time for the things that truly matter. My parents are also gone and I know I miss them beyond words, and I miss my husband’s parents equally.  Stop by for 5 minutes, give Mom a kiss and a hug.  You can even hug your old Dad too.

 

 

“Gentle, Loving, People”

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Elisabeth Kubler Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, pioneer in near death studies. She wrote books on: Grief, Death, Dying.  She was born in Switzerland in 1926 and died in Scottsdale, Arizona in 2004.  She often discussed the 5 stages of grief, to help those who had lost loved ones.  She wrote many famous quotes, I would like to share 2 of her quotes with you. 

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

“There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgement; for loving unconditionally.”

Do the traits that Elisabeth mentioned in these quotes describe you and how you are living your life.  If they do, I commend you for being one of the beautiful, loving people. We should all strive to be kind, gentle, and caring as we live our lives.

Dementia – Love Me ‘Til My Life Is Done

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Sometimes those with Alzheimer’s/Dementia will wake in the middle of the night, upset and in a rage, wanting to go home.  One gentelman’s wife with dementia did this now and then.  He was so patient, he would dress her, go for a short drive, and return home.  He would take her back to her bedroom, and she was content to be home.

Dealing with dementia patients is not like dealing with an ill person.  For an ill  person you do something “to” and “for” them.  For a dementia person you do something “with” them. (socializing)

Caregivers feel helpless and emotionally drained.  But do not give up on your loved one.  Read this poem written by an unknown author, and have compassion for those with Alzheimer’s/Dementia.

  • Don’t ask me to remember,
  • Don’t try to make me understand,
  • Let me rest and know your’re with me,
  • Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
  • I’m confused beyond your concept.
  • I am sad and sick and lost,
  • All I know is that I need you,
  • To be with me at all cost.
  • Do not lose your patience with me,
  • Do not scold or curse or cry,
  • I can’t help the way I’m acting,
  • Can’t be different though I try.
  • Just remember that I need you,
  • That the best of me is gone,
  • Please don’t fail to stand beside me.
  • Love me ’til my life is done.

Scientists studying dementia ask us to focus on what our loved ones can do.  Do not focus on the skills they have lost.  Normally long-term-memory and reading skills are less effected.  Even when a dementia patient can’t speak, they can still read if the print size is large enough. Spoken words. ” go in one ear and out the other.”  Those with dementia cannot store the spoken word in their memory.  Give them notes to read and they will not ask again and again where they or going or where something they want is stored.  Scientists know notes work, because they witness that dementia patients reading notes, will smile, and make pleasant sounds.  Those with dementia will stroke photos of loved ones with captions, because they read and then know the person in the photo.

I used baby monitors throughout my home dealing with my brother.  I learned this from a nurse who was caring for her mother with dementia. If I noticed or heard him, on my monitor screen, in a  certain room having problems, I went to help him find or complete a task he was trying to accomplish.  I used drive way alarms pointed at doors to know when he left or entered the house.  I had the receiving units for these alarms in my locked bedroom, but could hear them throughout my home.  These were aides to help me deal with an extreme dementia wanderer.

I know how hard being a caregiver is and that those with dementia do not know how to function correctly. So, just remember that they need you and love them until their life is done.

 

 

Helping Others, When They Need Help

I ran across this quote the other day and I thought of my brother, J.R. who has dementia. This quote tells us what we all can do for those who have memory loss, or a disability. Hold their hand and sing a song to them that they love.  I have done this several times when I visit my brother at the nursing home.  He does not know who I am anymore, but out of my love for him, I sing him a song.  Sometimes he remembers a few words of that song and he joins in with me, as I sing.♥

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I Ask You – What If . . .

Webster’s Dictionary tells me the word IF expresses a wish, condition, or stipulation.

There is so much violence in the world anymore it makes one think that there must be another way for human beings to function on this earth!

It is more than likely that most of us have used the word IF. . .  This word makes us dream of what could have occurred in our life IF. . .  “What If,” we had chosen another road to follow in our lives.  “What If,” we had pursued a different career, married someone else, or lived in a distant country.  Have you sat and pondered what your life would have been like IF . . .   I have done that very thing.

If you knew that your physical life would end shortly, how would you respond?  Would you choose to change your life?  I imagine in a situation like that we would try to complete the current life we were living.

Perhaps all of us should throw the “What Ifs,” out the door.  We need to strive to show stronger love toward the family we have right now. We should be the best that we can be.

Smile more,  hug more, enjoy life more, live our lives in a happier state of mind.  We all need to count our  blessings. Love and change start with one person and then the epidemic of love and caring happens.

“What If,” each of us simply chooses to become a better person!

The Illusive Future

People worry, stew (as my mother use to say), and fret about what the future holds in store for them.  I have done that very thing most of my life.

There’s a song that was released in 1956, which Doris Day sang called, “Whatever Will Be Will Be.”  The chorus of that song goes like this:  “Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be, the future’s not ours to see.  Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be.”

When a crisis enters your life, time seems to stand still and there is nothing, but the present.  That happened to me in 2013.  I thought my husband would die in the hospital from meningitis.  Everyone around me moved on with their lives and it was almost as if my life ceased to exist, time stood still for 42 days.  People everywhere were doing things that seemed so unimportant to me.  They were wasting their time on silly, frivolous things.  I had done the same thing before my husband became ill.  People were planning their lives far into the future.  I thought to myself – live now, love each other, wake up – the future’s not ours to see.

I try to live in the moment anymore.  Have I planned what I will do tomorrow? Occasionally I have to do just that.  My goals have changed and I try to enjoy today, enjoy NOW.  Hug your loved ones, tell them you love them, because tomorrow may never be.♥

Support of Others during trials and tribulations

During those times of extreme stress and tribulation when you think you are alone and no one cares, someone does something that lets you know they care.

I was caring for my brother who has dementia when my spouse became very ill and was hospitalized with meningitis.  Traveling so far to the hospital, taking my brother with me to see my spouse, for 42 days, was overwhelming.  During that time a Christian friend picked a greeting card to send to me and many other Christians signed that card.  The words touched my heart more than I can tell you.  I have kept that card for 2 years and passed these words on to others who are suffering:

 I don’t know how our heavenly Father,

   straightens out the crooked pathways we face,

or fills the valleys we walk through,

   or removes the mountains that block our way . . .

. . .but I’m asking Him to do those very things,

 for you today.

God did those things for me and I know it was through the prayers of hundreds of good people all over the world. The doctors said they had done all they could do and it was up to God to heal my spouse.  God healed my spouse.  I have seen the power of God through prayer many times in my lifetime.  So, reach out and comfort others, let them know you care.  As my Granddaughter says, “Say hello to the stranger you meet, give them a smile.”  You just might make their whole day better.

Dealing with the tragedies of life

I never thought I would come this far in learning to operate and deal with the technology of what I call “Computerism”.  That may be a dumb word to many of you, but I often make up words to suit myself.

From the time I was a child my mother told me, “Kid, sqaure those shoulders, lift that chin and face the world head on.”  My mother is gone now, bless her soul, dementia took my mother from me years ago.   I have always tried to be strong, do it all myself, but as the years have gone by I have learned it never hurts to ask for help.

I have spent the last 2 1/2 years caring for my brother who is in the middle stages of dementia.  My brother is younger than me and much younger than our mother was when she was diagnosed with dementia.  Thats only half of the dementia story.  My sister, who is 4 years older than me, is dying in a nursing home with dementia.  My younger brother, who is the baby of us 4 siblings, has just been diagnosed with dementia.  So, I say to myself, Why am I still standing, why is my brain still functioning, when my whole family has dementia.  Only God could give me that answer.  Perhaps the answer is because I need to be a caregiver for my brother, who was a caregiver for our mother.  My story is sad, it is long and if any of you out there that read this blog need help with lawyers, DHS, acquiring Medicaid, I have been there and I have done it.  If I had not been a secretary for years, I would not have been able to do all the paperwork it took to disengage my brother from a business partner in another state who was stealing all of his assets.  Taking advantage of someone with dementia is a criminal act, but generally they never get punished.

I managed to get Medicaid long term care for my brother after hiring a lawyer and battling DHS for 5 months.  Paid the lawyer, paid a hefty penalty, but I guess I won one for my brother.  I never wanted to put my brother in a nursing home, but caring for someone with dementia is one of the most stressful things to deal with in life.

It is a deep and sorrowful sadness, to the depths of ones soul, to watch someone you love so much fade into the world of dementia.  Does the sorrow get easier each day?  No, the sorrow is there amid your daily life and one has to learn to find happiness despite the sorrow.  As my Mama said, “Face the world head on.”