If Every Morning . . .

Thousands of Reasons   by Doe Zantamata

If every morning, You can find a reason to say, “Yes it’s going to be a beautiful day.” And every day, you find a reason to say, “Yes, it is a beautiful day.”  And every night, you find a reason to say, “Yes, it is a beautiful day.”  Then one day, You’ll look back and easily say, “Yes . . . it was a beautiful life.”

 

Life Is Fragile

When you have lost someone close to you.  When you have watched friends and family leave this earth, you realize how fragile life can be.  I saw this spider web in the sunlight with the green tree as a background. As I took this photo, this spider web made me think how fragile life is. The next day this spider web was blown away by wind and rain during the storms that roared through Arkansas last Wednesday.  That is how life is, here one day and gone the next.  Cherish those you love, life is fragile.

Reflecting on Life

Do you find as you get older that you begin to reflect on your life?  Does life seem to be slipping away too quickly?  Does it seem like you were just 18 years old yesterday and ready to leave your parents house? The next thing you know you are 40, then 50 and on up the age ladder you wander. As this life passes quickly do you reflect on what you have done, or how happy you have been?  Do you wonder when you will be gone and become only a memory in someone’s mind?  Most of us with a little age under our belts do think about the end of our life.

 

 

 

 

At  times I look through picture albums (yes, some of us still have those) and review the life I have lived to this point.  I think, wow, I have had a busy life, but where has it gone. You wonder how many days or years you have left on this earth.  You question whether you have spent your life doing what was expected of you, if you helped others enough. You think did I love enough, was I happy, was I kind, was I the person I should have been.

 

Memories of loved ones that I have lost flood my mind.  Then I think of those who are still here, those I love, those I can still help get through the tragic times, the happy times.

Take the years God gives you on this earth and live them in the best possible way.  Never take life for granted. Life is fragile.  Live today to the fullest, because as horrible as it may be to think about it, we may not have tomorrow.

Observations of Life

What if life flowed along with tranquility, like a beautiful arrangement of music, or a rippling stream of water, or an eagle in flight?  We can all make that happen.

Life is the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.  To exist is to continue to be, to have life or the function of vitality.

When your mentality disappears, and there is no vitality as you function in life, what does this mean?  I think of those with dementia.  They are disappearing mentally, they do not function with vitality in their existence.  Does life cease if you cannot be that total productive, normal functioning human being?  After all Life is – The period of birth to death.

I noticed when I was a caregiver that people acted as if those with dementia did not exist.  How sad!  The person with dementia was still alive, still in their body, and still functioning to an extent.  Yet, people acted as if they were afraid of this person with dementia.  They actually acted as if they were afraid to treat them as a human being. After all dementia means you cease to exist.  Right?

I knew as a caregiver that my loved one was still there.  My brother does not know me anymore, but I know how much he still means to me.  I know I love this person who is afflicted with dementia.  I watched my loved one suffer when others ignored him.  Those with dementia can not express themselves as society expects.  Those with dementia do not understand why others shun them.  How does it feel to stand on the edge of a group of people and never be included in the conversation?  I know how I would feel, I would feel shunned and left out.  I saw my loved one with dementia: cry, suffer, become more disoriented and confused.  I saw the sorrow.  I saw their existence as a human being discarded by other people who chose to classify them as an unessential, non-existent human being.  A human being that was dispensable, and unimportant as a person.

Some feel the person with dementia is void of essence.  Essence being the most significant element, quality, or aspect of a human being.

I tried to help my brother, tried to fill the void in his life.  Caregivers try to physically and mentally help those in their care.  I tried to protect my loved one from those that turned their backs and acted as if he was not present.

You see, those with dementia dislike their caregivers, become angry with their caregivers, do the opposite of what the caregiver ask of them.  Why?  A caregiver has to assume the role of a parent who is helping a child.  Remember how your children act when you try to direct them.  A caregiver is doing what they think is best, but to those with dementia you are simply trying to rule their lives.  They think they are quite capable of ruling their own lives, after all, they always made their own decisions.  A caregiver tries to be their friend, but they do not want you ordering them around and they stop talking to you and avoid you.  They actually begin to hate their caregiver.

Those who come in contact with a person with dementia need to step up and treat them as if they were normal human beings.  This eliminates the stress in the person with dementia and also in the caregiver. The concept of how you treat someone with dementia also holds true of how to treat any person with mental or physical disabilities. Society has the habit of ignoring or scorning anyone who they consider inferior or different.

Help those who need help, help those caregivers who feel overwhelmed.  I have shed many tears watching how others dealt with my brother.  I have learned many life lessons from my experience with dementia.  I have never shunned or turned from a person with any disability, my Mother instilled that asset in me.  Mom would always tell me, I was not better than any other person on this earth.  I know that I am not better, we are all equal.

There are a lot of cruel, uncaring people in society.  I also know there are large numbers of good caring people on this earth.  I know many of my fellow bloggers truly care and would help in any way they could.  I thank all of you, who step up to the plate, and help others when you see someone who needs help.  God bless you.

From Child to Adult to Child

If you have dealt with someone with dementia you know they regress back to childhood. Dementia is no laughing matter and really is not funny.  As a caregiver you know you have to laugh or you will cry.

I am my brother J.R.’s power-of-attorney and I make all the decisions for his care.  The nursing home calls me with every change or problem that occurs with J.R.  I received a call a few days ago. There was a confrontation between J.R. and a female patient in the dining room at the nursing home.  I was told it was not J.R.’s fault, it was the fault of the woman involved, they said she was quite mean.

J.R. was standing several feet behind this lady as she sat eating in the dining room.  She does not like J.R. and wanted him to go away.  She counted to 7, which surprises me, because most cannot count.  At 7, she turned and threw her glass of water all over J.R. Then she threw her plastic water-glass at J.R., hitting him.  J.R. picked the glass up from the floor and threw it back at her.  She then hit J.R. with her fist, and J.R. in return hit her back.  The aides intervened and separated these 2 squabbling kids.  The nursing home staff try hard to keep these 2 away from each other.  Why did J.R. fight back against a woman?  The natural instinct of self-preservation and defending yourself.  When your mind is like a child, you do not understand how to deal correctly with confrontation. Neither J.R. nor the woman were injured.

I told the nurse it sounded like a fight between 2 young children.  I laughed and told the nurse it was funny.  The nurse in turn laughed and told me, yes that is true.  It was humorous, but believe me when I say, it was sad to see adults regress back to the mental state of small children.  If nurses and caregivers do not laugh, they will cry.  Life has so many challenges.  Look for the humor rather than the sorrow, that is about the only solution to combat the despair you feel.  If you have to make tough decisions for another human being you will soon realize how much anguish enters your heart and mind.

Things People Say About Life

This pond is the view from the North window of my house.  Often I watch the ducks, cranes, and geese land on this pond and enjoy themselves for a while. I spend a lot of my life outdoors, totally enjoying everything nature has to offer.

I ran across a few quotes on what some famous people think about life.  My Mother use to say you get out of life what you put into life.  Mom also told me quite often that Life was Boot Camp for Heaven.  Life does get rough at times, like boot camp.

“The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.” Clarence Darrow, lawyer and author 1857-1938   (Thought this was funny.)

“May you live all the days of your life.”  Jonathan Swift, satire writer (England) 1667-1745  I think what he meant by this is that often we are just existing, letting time get away from us, and not enjoying the days we live on this earth.

“No man is a failure who is enjoying life.” William Feather, publisher & author 1889-1981

“As soon as a man acquires fairly good sense (in life), it is said that he is an old fogy.”  Ed Howe, journalist 1803-1937

“To make headway (in life), improve your head.”  B.C. Forbes, journalist-Forbes Magazine & author 1880-1954

When you’re sitting there bored, something I often hear from people, get up and do something about the boredom.  Live life to the fullest, fast and furiously, even if occasionally you have to slow down for the speed bumps.